On a serious note..

Most of my entries are just the goings ons of my training, but this is something more serious I feel like tackling. I don't have a lot of viewers anyway, so it's not like I'm really exploiting myself. I've ran since middle school, and up until I was pregnant in senior year (I know, terrible haha), I was under a hundred pounds. I was a bony little lady but I still would look in the mirror before my shower & make sure my stomach wasn't bulging (I know, I know). It didn't get too out of control & I never watched what I ate, really. Then I had Isabel.. I gained 80lbs and was quite larger than I needed to be for quite some time, even after giving birth. In the last 2 years I got real thin again, and half the time a size one is saggy in the waist. However, my weight will fluctuate abouut 6lbs here & there (6lbs is a lot for a small sized person!). Sometimes I'll stand in the mirror in my underwear for a good half hour and just stare at myself freaking out. I'll turn to the side, turn different lights on, suck in random things, blah blah. I KNOW I'm not big. But I can't help but do this regularly. I constantly am feeling to make sure my collar bone and spine aren't hidden behind layers of mush (crazy, I know) and if I'm even having the slightest big of a "fat day", I'll refuse to wear anything tight. I'll go weeks without eating anything "bad" and make sure to run and run and run. I don't feel like I starve myself, and I don't over-run. Ok, I did run 226 consecutive days before I broke my foot but that had nothing to do with me being thin. I also don't just worry about being thin. I want to make sure my legs are completely toned. I constantly make sure the muscles are prominent. I worry this will go on for the remainder of my life.

I have talked to people about it here & there, but it's not that big of an issue, so it never is really addressed. I do make sure not to weigh myself because if I see a number that I don't like, I'll get into a sad little funk. I also stopped taking any sort of medication because I worry I'll gain weight from it.I realize this is all unhealthy & mostly in my head, but some days I just can't convince myself I'm not in the correct shape.

If it makes any of this better, I make sure not to say anything regarding weight in front of Isabel. I don't want her to grow up with image issues, so I make sure to keep my fears away from her ears.

My next post won't be so lame. :)

Of course I'd forget after 4 posts!

haha I already have neglected this! I guess maybe that means I'm too busy running? ;)

First of all I have to say: I RAN AN 18:56 5K!!!! Totally geeked about that! Now I can concentrate on the bigger, more important races I have coming up this fall/end of summer.p

I ran on Team Sasquatch last weekend at the Great Lakes Relay! One of the most challenging running events I have ever taken part of and most likely the most fun! So many trails, so many awesome people. I was really scared that I'd have a Hogsback repeat, but I just had some minor scrapes. I'm going to run the Legend 1/2 marathon on the 6th, which is trail. But it's definitely minor trails compared to GLR. Then the Crim, Denver 1/2, then Grand Rapids 26.2! I'm gonna go broke haha. So worth it though.

Germans can't measure apparently.

Yesterday was Volkslaufe. Let me start off saying that my awesome big 5 year old (!!!) ran the 2k without stopping & was just over 11minutes! She got a ribbon and a giant t shirt but her favorite thing was the popsicle at the end of course :) I ran it with her, and she is such a badass little kid.

Ok, the 5k. A 5k is 3.1 miles. BUT in Frankenmuth it's 3.2! I KNOW my Garmin is accurate. And I hugged the corner of the course, and wasn't all over the place or anything out of the ordinary. My time was 20:29, but my Garmin clocked me at 19:40 when I crossed the real 5k mark. Also, the 2k was short. That wasn't as big of a deal, since it was a kid's race, but c'mon people! errrrghh I am still very frustrated. Last year, I wondered why my Frankenmuth time was like a minute slower than any other race I ran. That might be why. I'm done with that race. It's not worth the $51 I spent for the both of us. Laaaaaaaaaame.

Sunday I'm doing my first back to back race! a 5k first, then a 10k an hour later. It's gonna hurt, but I'm anxious. I'm gonna "race" the 5k, and see how I feel for the 10.

My little sister is gonna run for the Mott XC team this fall and that makes me such a happy lady! Tomorrow's her first practice, I'm gonna run with them.  After that, I'm cutting the cord and she's on her own ;) She's doing really well though. She's training for the Warrior Dash & the Crim (which my daddio is coming into town for!!)

Speaking of the Warrior Dash, since when did everyone and their brother become interested in adventure type obstacle races? Totally not my thing, but I'm excited to watch her & my cousin (& everyone & their brother) rock it out.

Beecher Creatures.

While running, I thought fireworks were gunshots & the whole journey smelled of pot & garbage. That's what ya get when you live a few short miles from Beecher! There's this guy that I see when I'm running sometimes, and he's walking. But he only has one leg & uses crutches. He's gotta be 10x more tired than I am.

6 months after I got it, I finally uploaded my garmin to my computer. I felt like such a nerd! But it was freakin' cool. I'll still continue to handwrite everything old school style, but it was neat none the less.

Short blog for a short run. Wam bam thankyou ma'am.

Heat rash, runner's cough & blisters.

Today was supposed to be just a leisurely 12miles with Brett.. but that turned into a 12.4mile in 85 degrees with random large sized hills. I will admit, the hills felt good & will help in the long run.(lol pun!) When we were done, my legs got a sweet  heat rash on them, and then a little while later my face did too. And I coughed for like 2 hours! This is the 2nd time getting heat rash ever, and they both were within the same few weeks. Hope this isn't a regular occurrence! I used to get runner's cough when I was in middle school, but it's been forever, so I hope that's not a regular occurrence either! I also noticed a huge blister on my foot afterward, and that's only my second blister this year too. haha, just not my day to run I guess.

On a positive note, the New Balance rep was at the track yesterday & I tried on a pair of racing flats. Oddly enough, I've never even tried a pair on. But I instantly fell in love. I don't know if it was the color or feel or maybe a little of both, but I got so geeked. They're not out yet, so I asked today when they're coming in and was informed that the NBx team already ordered me a pair! (free, too...which is the best part because I wasn't really ready to commit to ANOTHER $100 pair of shoes haha) They better make me run like a 16 minute 5k. ;)

Easy mileage for the next 2 days then volkslaufe on monday woooo.