Themes Are For Parks (and I'm a giant party pooper)

I wear my running necklace 24/7 and I have those brag stickers on my car that announce I've done marathons, and I usually wear running clothes if I'm not wearing work clothes. So basically, it's pretty obvious that I'm a runner even if I don't really talk about it to someone. My work decided to sponsor a 5k in September, and to help get participants, HR decided to give 5 free entries to employees. I was super pumped about it til I found out it was one of those Color Runs. I am in no way hating on these or the people who do them for fun. Every picture I've seen of my Facebook friends participating in these show nothing but smiles and everyone looks like they're having a super fun time. But when I see them, I feel this overwhelming sense of anxiety. Like, I can't even imagine it in my hair, my ears, my glasses.. just, no. I even hate when I'm running a regular, non color run, and people are spraying water with hoses at the runners. I feel like I'm being enclosed and trapped and I just can't get out. (I realize I may have some deep seeded issues.) Same thing with the Tough Mudders & Warrior Dashes. If I can't handle a little colored corn starch, I for sure can't handle being soaked in smelly mud from head to toe. Not to mention the obstacles that I would probably fall and die on because I'm blind and blind people don't do well on obstacles. That whole depth perception thing really messes with you when you have to jump over a log or something. I AM the girl who broke her foot on a trail run in 2010, remember? And then there's costume runs. I keep reading these headlines from Runners World about people running full marathons in banana costumes or whatever.. and are these people super human enough that they don't experience chaffing? I get chaffed if my sports bra is too thick, I can't imagine running in a full on costume not designed for running. When did this become so popular? Is it to help promote those who don't run to do so? Because if so, GREAT! That's awesome. But count me out. I'm a giant party pooper and I will probably only ever run regular races, in regular running clothes, with no color, obstacles or costumes.